it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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