This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
