glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
