is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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