i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
