so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
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We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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