I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
