Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
