That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
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I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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