I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
