Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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