mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
