he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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