i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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