Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
