MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
