Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
