i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
