why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
