I'm jealous of your bromance
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
