I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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