Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
