i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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