I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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