i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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