I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize