Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
