i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize