You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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