She is in my trunk
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
