Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
