Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize