I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
