Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
