i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Randomize
