umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
