My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
