he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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