What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
