Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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