She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize