Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
