I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think your dad took our porno
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
