I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
