i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
