theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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