I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
