??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
