Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize