there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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