My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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