So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
