Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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