So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
