I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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