I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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