How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
