do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
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just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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