Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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