New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize