so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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