I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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