please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
