I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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