Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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