She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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