READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
