She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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