how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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